What if Jesus was an atheist?

OK, so what if Jesus was an atheist???….   Is that wrong of me to ask?…  I mean I know SOME of you think it’s wrong to ask, I learned that real early in life actually….  One of my Grandfathers was a preacher….  I got kicked out of Sunday school at HIS CHURCH for asking questions like that when I was 7….  ‘The boy is just TOO unruly Brother’….  I guess I was riling up the other sheep a little too much….  It never really bothered me too much honestly cause I’ve always been able to MAKE UP MY OWN STORIES to amuse myself and I never cared much for the snake handling anyway….

But really, how do I know he wasn’t?….  From everything I’ve ever read HE never wrote anything himself…. It was just a bunch of random guys following him around that wrote a bunch of stuff, he ’supposedly’ said that the rest of us are supposed to follow….  Those guys were like groupies man,…  I’m just not so sure I’d be listening to what the Claymates decide to jot down after Clay Aiken has decided to shuffle loose the mortal coil, that’s all I’m saying!

I mean the guy had NO fashion sense,… he wore SANDALS with a full length DRESS…. Those are just POOR CHOICES folks….

I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but MY friends can’t remember HALF the stuff I spew out of my gaping yaw….  and that’s just the THE NEXT MORNING….  Let alone after they’ve all set my dead ass aflame!!…. Cause they’d be really hung over see…  AND I’ve requested a Viking funeral….

Maybe that’s why his tomb was ‘mysteriously’ empty three day’s later….  It was some kind of stoner prank done by his obsessive fan base!!!!….   They had to hide Elvis’ body due to that crap or it would have happened to him too!!!!…..  If that HAD happened after Elvis died I bet by now THOUSANDS of people would be running around all over Tennessee and southern Kentucky following the ‘Book of Red‘ and the rest of the Memphis mafia…..  As it is they’ve got Dale Earnhardt and NASCAR….  it’s really only a slight adjustment…

I’m just saying,….  BAAAA sheep, BAAAA.

Lawyers are annoying AND scary stupid.

I really, really, really dislike most lawyers…. They’re like a little cabal, a secret society, they’re the Mason’s of the UNORIGINAL…. Really, most of them are just leaches on society…. They come in and SUCK THE MONEY out of ANY GIVEN SITUATION….  As soon as someone calls the lawyer you may as well get ready to apply the tourniquet to your wallet, cause they’ll be sucking ALL the money out of your pocket in short order….  They’re like the Fagin’s of the real world….  There is no situation they are not willing to exploit!!!….  Sorry, did the Oliver Twist reference throw you?

Plus who the hell else in this world likes to use LATIN?!?!?….  Except for Priests!!!…..  ‘Pro bono’ they hardly EVER use that one….  The LAWYERS I mean NOT the Priests,… THEY seem to use that one quite a bit more than is APPROPRIATE apparently….  I’m just repeating what I read in the papers up here folks…

And EVERY lawyer I’ve ever know personally smokes dope….  Yet these are the same ilk,  that when they decide they’ve suckled off the teat of private industry long enough and want to belly up to the publicly funded trough, these same ASSHOLES vote for every drug law that rolls across their desk….  They get all self righteous on the rest of us while they pay for hookers out of their staffers checking accounts….  Where’s the IRS when it comes to auditing little ‘Billy Bob’ from Senator Graham’s office and why all of a sudden he’s been spending $50,000 per month on internet porn and dating services?!?!?!….

No 22 year old kid can spend that much on hookers folks!!!….  It took Charlie Sheen years and years to work up to that level….  And now you think it’s reasonable for some kid fresh from Dog Patch to be performing at this same standard?!?!?!   I THINK NOT!

I’m sorry I guess I just ask too many questions sometimes….  My head just works that way….  Maybe that’s why I’m up here babbling this stuff in front of you and not a lawyer.

John McCain….Reach for the Stars America!

John McCain graduated FIFTH from the bottom of his class at Annapolis!….  I mean really, that sounds to me like he did WORSE in school than BUSH?!?!?!….  I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been TOO impressed with the last underachiever America hired for that gig,…..  I’m not so sure I want to continue on that PATH….

Let me put this into perspective,…. In graduating FIFTH from the bottom, this means that he was BARELY able to figure out how to BOMB someone accurately….  Let me say that again, HE HAD TROUBLE BLOWING SHIT UP CORRECTLY!!!….   And obviously with his flight record that FIFTH from the bottom shows….  What IT’S MY FAULT HE WAS SHOT DOWN NOW?!?!?!….  I wasn’t even BORN when he got shot down so I accept no responsibility for Mr. McCain’s ability, or lack there of ACTUALLY, to pilot an aircraft.  I mean at least Bush has the excuse of having had drugs destroy his brain and grade point average….  McCain went to school in the 50’s….  They didn’t have anything but sock hops and booze back then right?!?!?

All I’m saying is, if you really want Mr. McCain to DITCH AMERICA the same way he DITCHED that A-4 Skyhawk over the Nam back in 67, GO AHEAD, ELECT HIM, you’ll see!!!  Mark my words as my Mom used to say…