Some films are starting to make me feel ancient.
I’m beginning to face the fact that I’m getting older now…. I’m noticing different reactions to Action movies now than I used to have…. It’s not all a visceral experience for me anymore…
I was watching Bruce Willis’ recent opus…. ‘Live Free or Die Hard‘…. I went on a 15 minute rant to my wife when he used a fire extinguisher as an explosive device in one scene early on…. Why would something used to put out fires suddenly become an incendiary device?!?!?!…. I mean I’ve seen the seals broken on a fire extinguisher and all it does is goes “FWOOOSH” and spits out alot of white shit…. That’s not going to thrust any terrorist’s out the window…. Your better off smacking the guy in the face with the thing…. Then later in the same scene I got pissed off when the bad guys shot up this really NICE PLASMA TV!!!!…. Hey if you have Hi Def like me then you also will feel my pain here….
I was watching the semi-original Star Wars with my 8 year old, the 1997 version…. Then the point comes when Ben Kenobi is explaining the force to Luke…. He’s going “The force surrounds us and binds the galaxy together”…. And it makes me thing that Ben was really talking about a fiber laxative…. Apparently the Jedi were just really interested in using the force to have a SOLID BOWEL MOVEMENT!!!!….
I’m definitely getting older now…..
Another sign I’m getting older now, I’m beginning to think that all proctologists should have to list their finger measurements in any print advertising. Speaking of proctologists I heard some interesting news about our Vice President recently… (Segue into: Cheney’s Physical)