Home > Atheism, Atheist, Comedy, Entertainment, Family, Funny, Humor, Life, Marriage, Random, Rants, Religion, stand up, Subversives, Thoughts > I’ll take the religious guilt on the side please.

I’ll take the religious guilt on the side please.

July 9, 2008, @ 9:26 am Leave a comment Go to comments

If Jesus died for my sins I guess all I can say is he really fucked up….  honestly, I think he clocked out WAY too early cause I’ve got a LOT MORE SINNING TO DO….  Most of it with my wife, but occasionally alone in the bathroom too…

I guess that’s why I married a Jewish girl the second time I got married…. my first wife was Catholic and they, of course, blame the Jews for killing Jesus….  which is bullshit right?….  Personally I’d blame the dickhead with the hammer if I believed any of that shit….

I suppose that maybe a LITTLE of the blame should also be heaped upon the shoulders of the guy who put the fucking cross upright and made sure it was level too….  Which has to be hard to do with a writhing human hanging from the fucking thing right?!?!?….  I mean I have trouble squaring up a door frame and there’s no one squirming and bitching in the door while I do the work!!!!

(Segue to: Catholic girls start much too late.)

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  1. mikenopolis
    July 9, 2008, @ 12:13 pm at 12:13 pm

    HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHA “Dickhead with hammer” I’m so using that! I’m also planning to say “…just remember, I’m dying for YOU!” if someone ever plans to kill me in a hold up of something!

  2. July 9, 2008, @ 12:33 pm at 12:33 pm

    You can use it in private, but I’m a professional comedian so this is copyrighted material!!! So you have to send me 50% if you make any money off my lines!!

    Glad you liked it, keep stopping by cause I have alot more stuff being worked out inside my skull and I try to write at least one or two into here each day.

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