Yet another reason women are luckier than men.
Do you know why I think women are lucky?… I mean BESIDES multiple orgasms…. Because all you need to simulate sex for yourself is ANY good STIFF object about 8 to 12 inches long… I mean besides the dildo you’ve got: flashlights, phones, bananas, all manner of fruit and veggies actually…. There really is no GOOD way to simulate a vagina….
I mean if a guy can afford it and gets himself a doll but forgets the lube he’s screwed… and not in the good way…. Plastic BURNS when you create friction against it when it’s dry….. So does dry humping by the way… I wore all the skin off one side of my cock once in high school when I was making out with this girl…. and LET ME TELL YOU gentlemen, if that EVER happens to you…. just wait until it heals up completely before you try and get with another lady…. Cause NOTHING you can say will EVER adequately explain to your new woman why you have SCABBY DICK!!!…. The FIRST thing you’ll hear after you whip it out is “I’m not putting that thing in MY MOUTH or anywhere else!!!”…
Like I said I envy women’s ability to have the multiple orgasm…. If a guy had that ability we’d NEVER leave the house…. Also if a guy does, by some cosmic alignment of the planets, get lucky enough to have more than one in a session…. let me just say gentlemen, make sure your well hydrated cause that second or third time will feel like you are PISSING RAZORBLADES!!!!… This is the shit they DO NOT tell you in that health class in 8th or 9th grade so REMEMBER IT!!!!