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Catholic girls start much too late.

July 10, 2008, @ 9:52 am Leave a comment Go to comments

Like I said my first wife was a Catholic girl…. which led me to this conclusion, thanks to a great deal of research….  CATHOLIC GIRLS SUCK AT SEX…. and not in the GOOD WAY!!!!…. At first it was fun when she was into it and enjoyed herself…..  Until that damned Catholic guilt kicked in….  Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I found I was FUCKING A LOG!!!!  Seriously I got several splinters in my dick!!!…

Now I know what some of you are thinking….  but this was actually BEFORE Ecstasy was popular so that option just didn’t exist back in the day….  Which kind of pisses me off…..  we just had to ‘make due’ with our weed, coke, acid and beer….  I reached adulthood in that little window of time before Ecstasy hit it big in the 90’s and AFTER rampant open sexuality was popular in the 60’s and 70’s…..  so most of the girls back then were pretty much prudes, thanks to being raised by a bunch of guilt ridden women who used to be whores that suddenly ‘found religion’ once they had a kid….  Then next thing I hear a couple years later is about this ‘new’ drug called Ecstasy that makes everyone want to be all ‘touchy feely’ and that young girls are now using oral and anal intercourse in order to remain virgins?!?!?!….  W-W-W-WHAT?!?!?!?!    I don’t know about that though,…..  I’m pretty sure once you’ve been fucked in the ass in prison they no longer consider you a ‘virgin’….  never having been incarcerated I can’t really be sure about that though….  I just never did the research, sorry.  But I digress.

It actually kind of surprised me that she was so bad at sex….  I thought that all Catholic youths were ‘trained’ by the priests?!?!…  or is that JUST the little boys?!?!?!  Not being raised Catholic I could never be sure…

(Segue to: Recent Studies Show)

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  1. leftcoastlibrul
    July 10, 2008, @ 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm

    Depends on the Catholic. I was told by an ex that I score off the charts on the “wild meter” because of
    1. my Catholic upbringing (some of us rebel hard)
    2. being the daughter of a cop.
    Personally, I think Catholicism was invented to keep us lusty Italian girls in line. 😉

  2. July 10, 2008, @ 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm

    Thanks for the comments, apparently I need to DIVE BACK INTO RESEARCH….. I wonder if my wife will get pissed?

    I was of course speaking of my personal experience, but it’s a joke in progress so I may have to add in a caveat re: the rebellious girls.

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