Home > Aging, Comedy, Entertainment, Family, Funny, Humor, Life, Marriage, medical, philosophy, Rants, Sex, stand up, Thoughts > When a Man Loves a Woman…. and Another Woman..

When a Man Loves a Woman…. and Another Woman..

July 23, 2008, @ 12:33 pm Leave a comment Go to comments

I’ve never cheated on a woman in my life….

The reasons for this are twofold: ONE—My mom shot her second husband when I was 14… It’s ok, really, he’s STILL an asshole!… and TWO—I never really dated anyone seriously until I was 15….

I have a couple pieces of advice for any ladies out there who may be in the initial planning stages….

First, always choose the right tools for the job….  It’s like being a plumber….  Don’t try and shoot someone who’s oh, I don’t know six foot something and 220 pounds with a .22 caliber pistol….  General rule, use height divided by two equals the caliber, just drop the decimal….  So for say 6 ft tall a .357 to .44 magnum would suffice….  10 foot tall guy!…  Desert Eagle .50 caliber….

Second, and I can’t stress this part enough…. Practice, Practice, Practice….  Range trigger time translates to SUCCESS!!!

Third, always aim for here (point to head) or here (point to chest), NEVER here (point to groin)… The reason you don’t shoot here (point to groin) is because you WON’T KILL HIM and you’ll have to pay for the reconstructive surgery…. And I PROMISE you he’ll be ordering the BIGGER DICK…

So Basically, if you shoot here (point to groin), your just making the next whore he cheats with happier!!!

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