See I don’t really do guilt…
Guilt and regret are a waste of your time…. People probably think that’s a little self involved but then isn’t everything??? I mean your not really living your life for someone else are you…. EVERYTHING you do is self involved, even if it’s taking care of your own elves (kids)…. I mean you are the reason they’re here after all, you were so self involved you refused to put on a condom or at least allowed her to talk you OUT of wearing one, either way… Self involved….
I have 3 kids, though honestly one of them was only mine briefly…. If there was anything I was going to regret it would have been not getting to see her more often…. But then divorce, military service, geography and the financial constraints of the world had a great deal to do with that as well, I mean I still had to make a living right?…. Anyway, she’s an adult now and doing fine on her own…. And I get to talk to her quite a bit now so that’s a bonus!
My other two boys are both still in their ‘little people’ fazes….. One of them will be forever actually…. My older son has Down Syndrome, which freaks some people out….. Let me give you a little tip, he’s just like you…. Only nicer…. The kids life is honestly golden, he’s what medical professionals call ‘high functioning’…. They used the same phrase in reference to me on occasion, but I think it had a different connotation in that situation as they also stated I was ‘manipulative’ (again who isn’t?)…. He’s constantly on a quest to make people laugh and then he’ll query, “Am I funny?”…. We’re still trying to figure out where he gets that from….
The kids a little flirt too, he runs right up to women (only the good looking ones mind you, he’s got Down Syndrome, he’s not stupid) and will start hugging them simply because he KNOWS he can get away with it…. Honestly, I’d do the same, if I thought I had a chance in hell of being allowed to do so…
I think, if I was going to have a regret in my life, it would be that I’m not going to be able to be there and protect him from the lame stupidity of Jr. High School and High School, as he’s started the former this year…. So I’ve done the next best thing…. Since he was about 3 I’ve been teaching him basic Aikido…. Some of you may think this is not a good idea, but you’d be WRONG…. When he was 5 some little punk 7 year old thought it would be funny to push him around on the playground…. That’s when my little man threw the penis wrinkle into a fence and bloodied his nose…. He’s 12 now and has a lot more throwing power, in addition to some really good wrist locks, so some of those Jr. High kids should REALLY fly….
I’ve gotta admit, that was an EXCEPTIONALLY FUN DAY though…. See they decided since he couldn’t recount the story to them that he must have started it…. I remember going in there and talking to him, once I was able to cobble together the true story and get the little turd ball that started it to admit he started it…. I really enjoyed berating the neophytes that administered that little school…. Plus the other kid’s Dad just looked totally flummoxed once he realized his little prince was a crap bag fop and got his ass kicked by a special needs child to boot!…. I bet that kid got REAMED when he got in the car away from everyone else, but who cares he deserved it…. I bought my son ice cream on the way home!
Son #2 is just like any other kid who’s father has been explaining the finer points of String Theory and Particle Physics to him since he was 3…. Poor kid asks about a star and gets a 20 minute lecture…. But he GETS it…. It’s nice when you can sit down and watch a program about dark matter and black holes with an 8 year old and he ENJOYS IT!!!…. He’s been on the Aikido program since 3 too, but luckily for him he’s never had to use it, it would be rare but nice if he never did but I truly doubt that…. Sure we’ve moved away from the majority of the moronic and racist contingent in this country, by relocating as far away from the south as possible while not moving to a different continent but as I’ve learned in my own life, STUPID IS UNIVERSAL….. I’m sure his day is coming but he’s better prepared than I was at his age for it….
I don’t do regret, but now that they’ve started a new school year I’m missing having my boys around the house a bit…. Sure it makes it hard to code when they’re here but I’m an insomniac anyway so it’s not like I wouldn’t be up at 2am in any event….. Getting distracted by them in the daylight just gives me something to work on in the moonlight.