Family History…

January 9, 2010, @ 6:10 pm Leave a comment Go to comments

I was doing research online and found that my family came here from Germany in 1789…  and they were Jewish…  Yeah, my first though was “Oh crap… There are like no Jews in show business…”  Maybe I should reconsider…       all this…

SO yeah they were Jewish…  and I guess in 1789 the family name was Walk…  AND they were really PROACTIVE in escaping from Hitler…   kinda fills you with pride really!!!…  they spotted the signs like 140, 145 years before anyone…

But this really opens all kinds of new doors for me as a comedian….  There are so FEW ethnic jokes regarding Judaism…

I’m also part Native America…  Shawnee…  Can you imagine the crap that guy got from his Jewish Mother?!?!….   I figure if I keep researching, I’ll also find I’m part African and Muslim…  and begin bombing myself…

My brother started using that Native American part to get the ladies early on…  Anytime a woman tells him she’s got a little Indian in her,…  he asks her if she’d like a little more…

It’s kind of hard for me…  finding out I’m Jewish, on several levels…  I mean, I come from Hillbillies, so half of the family wants to kill me cause their being targeted by racist organizations now…  the other half wants to kill me cause their being KICKED OUT of their racist organizations…  I feel bad about it…  some of those folks need the Neo-Nazi Bowling League…  it’s the only exercise many of them get…

It’s also hard, because I’m an Atheist…   AND NOW!!!…  NOW I find out that I’m one of God’s ‘chosen’ people…  oops…   but you know now that I’m a CHOSEN ONE…  I may have to reconsider…

It’s also really disappointing finding out my family was Jewish and came here in the late 18th century….  Because in NINE generations not one them accumulated any viable wealth to pass on TO ME!!!….  kind of makes me wonder if we weren’t kicked OUT…  “Alright, Hirahm….  ve’ve been looking at the Zionist conspiracy accounting figures here…  and ve see your not doing your part to take over the vorld here….  SOOO, if you don’t vant to take over the old vorld,…  maybe veel send you to the new…   see vhat you can do over dere…  you do a good job taking over the new vorld maybe… MAYBE ve bring you back.”

Just note that I’m doing this act in the U.S. folks…  I think we know how that turned out….

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