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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

7 Billion and Counting But Gay Marriage Threatens the Species…

October 31, 2011, @ 3:49 pm Leave a comment

There are now 7 billion people on this planet, yet even with those odds I can’t find a undocumented maid that won’t drink my liquor.

I mean come on 7 billion people… More alien abductions & sightings than any time in our recorded history…. I’d advise you all to stock up on ammo we’re ripe for the harvest….  That’s why we’re getting plumper as a species,.. like cattle going to market.

If it weren’t for Catholicism’s ‘out breed em all’ policy there wouldn’t be 7 billion people & Puss in Boots wouldn’t have been # 1 in the box office the week it premiered.

My problem with Catholic people isn’t that I think I’m smarter than them, I know I am…  The problem is they breed & put helmets on their children.

There are 7 billion people on this planet but if your gay in America they don’t want you to get married because it ‘threatens the species’…  Really?

If your gay you can’t get married because it threatens the ‘sanctity’ of marriage,..  but Thank god Kim Kardashian was able to get married AND have her divorce within 72 days so the current season didn’t have to end with a cliff hanger…

Kim Kardashian’s marriage really recalls those great Hollywood relationships of old doesn’t it?… I mean who’s not thinking Hepburn & Tracy right now, so romantic!!

Titanic was longer, both the film & the actual sinking of the ship…  Which was, unlike her marriage breaking up, an actual, verifiable, real and tragic event.

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You Make the Call…

July 11, 2010, @ 11:42 am 3 comments

The day my family was having our Reunion back East,…   That’s the direction that doesn’t lead you into the Pacific Ocean…  The day of the reunion I was sitting there watching ‘Fatal Attraction’ in HD…

And this made me think, “Example of Symmetry?  OR Newton’s Third Law?”

You Make the Call…

Since my brother was there and ‘on the field’ as it were, I asked him to officiate for me…

His return text was a bit disturbing,…  his judgment call was that it was more in line with Symmetry, apparently things got pretty rough around the “buffet area”…

But in our defense we are all pretty damned good cooks…

Tiger Woods Bumps Fists…

April 29, 2010, @ 10:51 am Leave a comment

Headline News was reporting on the fact that Tiger Woods “fist bumped” a fan in Orlando on the golf course today…

How is this news?…

I mean the only thing it really makes me want to know is, was that the fist he diddled the cocktail waitresses and strippers with?…

Double Jeopardy…

April 21, 2010, @ 1:10 pm Leave a comment

I have a Gay Jewish Mother In Law…  That’s like double jeopardy isn’t it?…

I mean they don’t even allow that kind of stuff in the U.S. court system…

Even AFTER Bush got done with them…  I mean the court system…  Not the Gay Jewish Mother In Law’s…

Though I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t approve of them either…  If he could conceive of such a thing…

I feel pretty, oh so pretty…

January 11, 2010, @ 10:30 am Leave a comment

… I was standing there this morning… in the nude… let that image sink in for a second there ladies… …. …. and my wife goes, “What are you DOING!!! I’ve gotta go to work I don’t have time for SEX!!!”… which wasn’t even on my mind… …. till she SAID IT!!…

but I was just getting dressed, didn’t say anything… not even the “hey ya wanna?!?!” pleading look that every guy does… i wasn’t even thinking of sex… it made me feel like such a piece of meat, like an object or a ‘sex toy’ if you will…. dirty…

THAT WAS KINDA COOL!!!, is that what hot girls feel like all the time?!?!?! Cause I get it now…

Out of the box…

August 29, 2009, @ 6:13 pm 2 comments

Living with 2 kids, a 9 yr old and a 13 year old (Down Syndrome or not), is like living with a little law firm…  It’s frustrating…  I mean I have myself to blame…  I’m the one that taught them to think “out of the box” so there you go right?…

Kid would ask me about a shooting star and he gets a 20 minute dissertation on meteorites, micro meteorites, “space junk”, and the perils of polluting our atmosphere…  So now it takes me 40 fucking minutes to get the little turds into bed…

And what you want to do is go “GET YOUR ASS IN BED!!! OR YOUR GOING TO LEARN ABOUT THERMAL DYNAMICS WHEN MY HAND MEETS YOUR ASS!!!”…

And then your explaining to him as you give him swats that this is what the Earth felt like when the Asteroid that killed the dinosaurs hit Latin America…

You don’t do that but you think it….

Muslim beheads wife to improve image…

February 17, 2009, @ 12:48 pm 3 comments

I’m sorry but obviously there is a severe difference in beliefs as to what is required to improve one’s image here…..

I mean true, I’m not a Muslim, but I’m pretty sure that cutting off your spouses head is not really a ‘main stream Muslim’ person’s first solution to the thought of being divorced….   Maybe to hire an arbitrator would have been a better course of action….

This guy is obviously a ‘Jerry Falwell religious school of learning’ type cause an extremist is an extremist no matter which religion your in folks….

–(just had to save the article and jot my initial reaction, more to come on this after I let it simmer a little longer)