Megan Fox is no Britney Spears…

Megan Fox recently stated she’s not going to be the next ‘Britney Spears’….

Which is a good thing, she’s setting her sights higher I suppose…  Provided she’s not aiming to become the next skanked out coke head crack whore aka ‘Amy Winehouse‘….

Better bettors in a new millenium?… Thank you Fantasy Football…

I tend to go to Vegas or Reno as it’s nearer, on occasion, as they’re a mecca of decadence and ‘proof in practice’ of the capitalist pig dog system into which I had the good fortune of being born.  I enjoy the rancor and noise as it’s usually going on in MY HEAD anyway so I like to see OTHERS experience it as a physical reality and try to concentrate as I have to on a daily basis.

Though I tend to spend most of my time at the Craps tables, where the smart bettor can make money no matter what way the dice are rolling, but occasionally I’ll go to the Blackjack table too.  In order to lick my wounds and make my money back after falling victim to being near a moron at the Craps table…  You’ve seen them, they shouldn’t be allowed on the floor, it’s like you feel the ice once a cooler rolls into the place.

I have however noticed an improvement when I decide to go to the sports book and bet some games.  Now sports betting is the ONE stupid thing I’ll do at a casino, and it’s ONLY on the NFL…  I never used to bet on it, sports betting is one of the worst odds bets in the world.  No matter how good the team all you need is for a moron like T.O., that’s Terrell Owens not Tom Osborne, to screw it up and blow all the odds off the board by dropping the ball!  I mean it’s like people totally forget that they pay people to just blow the spread, you don’t even have to lose the game, just don’t beat the spread.  Win by 6 instead of 7 or more and a LOT of people don’t win BUT the people who bet AGAINST the spread do.  Does no one remember the Boston College basketball scandals?  Poor Henry Hill, unless he’s on Howard Stern no one remembers him enough to want to whack him…

But the point is that thanks to Fantasy Football, when I do want to bet on football now it’s generally a much quicker experience.  It’s probably helped to save the sports books in Nevada, not just Fantasy Football but Baseball, NHL and even NASCAR.  They all have fantasy leagues, which leads to people knowing alot more about a particular sport just on a general knowledge basis.  It’s just a fact.  Your researching for your free leagues, I know I do it too.  The fact remains however that humans like to put knowledge to USE.  It’s in our ‘nature’ to want to apply that knowledge to good and productive effort.  Beating someone else out of some green seems a natural and healthy way to do so while not just sitting for hours on end in a casino.  See you can bet on sports in the morning before the odds change then go out with the kids to one of the MANY fine places to take the kids in the new “family friendly” Las Vegas…  Yeah, that was a poorly conceived ad campaign.  Vegas is no fun for kids, it’s really not alot of fun for short people in general.  My spouse is well lets just say she’s not tall, ALOT not tall, she’s as short as a woman can be and still get into the U.S. Army…  But it makes me, as an ‘average height’ American male, feel incredibly HUGE.  So that’s what’s important here.

So go to Vegas America, this next Great Depression we’re seeing on the horizon can be stopped from out there in the desert.  All you need is a BIG wad of stinky green cash, a bunch of weed, several cases of poppers, some good mescaline and crushed up ‘No-Doze’ to snort when the Coke runs out, cause ALL THE BOOZE IS FREE WHILE YOUR GAMBLING (this INCLUDES Wild Turkey Rare Breed)!!!

It’s where W plans to put up his Presidential Library as soon as he falls off the wagon.  At least this will be a retirement to see, the public reversion to the slime from whence he came, it’s a good thing Sinatra is dead.  Word on the street is George W. owed him 50K from a night of binging in the old Flamingo back in the late 70’s.  Frank Sr. woulda whacked him and there is nothing 41 coulda done about it.  Cause it’s ‘old school’.

John McCain to star in ‘Grumpy Old Men 3: Electric Boogaloo’

I used to actually like John McCain before he became the current GOP pussy that he is, I mean the guy USED to, or at least appeared to, have some moral fortitude (which is to say it seemed he had alot, at least when compared to the rest of the Republican chattel in American politics) and the balls to stand up against party politics….   If he hadn’t rolled over like a little bitch on roofies I might have even considered voting for him, but he could personally kiss my ass (in the crack WITH tongue) and still say goodbye to that wish now….

This man who once could have been a great president has become a Grumpy Old Man, read this interview with Time and you’ll see what I’m talking about…..   Go ahead, I’ll wait…..

Good now that your back, did you see what a dink the guy is now???….   This is a guy who used to say “No question is a bad question” and now he won’t even answer almost HALF of the damned questions asked by a reporter from Time Magazine?!?!?!….  I mean really these are softball questions and he’s just staring at the reporter?!?!?….   God I wish Hunter S. Thompson was still around and on those press junkets….  I mean that was a man that had the balls to give Nixon hell when the Republinazi’s had almost taken over America….

I’m sorry but the man’s just too OLD to be an effective representative of this country….  I mean he BELIEVED Gore when he said he invented the internet….  The guy is just completely out of touch, could it be that he’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, not that he ever really understood what most American’s lives are truly like….

He’s never had a job OUTSIDE of the government, he’s been on the federal teet since birth, through college (where he graduated 5th FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS CLASS AT ANNAPOLIS), through the military (where he PROVED he deserved to be 5th from the bottom by getting shot down and not being able to evade the enemy, I’m positive there is a training program SPECIFICALLY for that purpose by the way), then every chance he gets now he likes to bring up the fact that he was a dumb ass who got caught for sympathy points (waaaa, I was a POW, oh YEAH well, waaa I was raised by a mentally unstable woman I think I win, he was only in Hanoi for approximately 5 years I was stuck in my situation for 17) , and then on into the political sector….

Where are the scum bags who gave Kerry (a legitimate American hero who won the Medal of Honor) all that crap back in 2004 and made him look like a dick versus Bush (a legitimate American criminal who did NOT complete his puss out Air National Guard duty cause it would have interfered with his coke binges and beer funnel time)….

Hopefully, John McCain will choke on his Viagra and give the rest of us some relief….

Lawyers are annoying AND scary stupid.

I really, really, really dislike most lawyers…. They’re like a little cabal, a secret society, they’re the Mason’s of the UNORIGINAL…. Really, most of them are just leaches on society…. They come in and SUCK THE MONEY out of ANY GIVEN SITUATION….  As soon as someone calls the lawyer you may as well get ready to apply the tourniquet to your wallet, cause they’ll be sucking ALL the money out of your pocket in short order….  They’re like the Fagin’s of the real world….  There is no situation they are not willing to exploit!!!….  Sorry, did the Oliver Twist reference throw you?

Plus who the hell else in this world likes to use LATIN?!?!?….  Except for Priests!!!…..  ‘Pro bono’ they hardly EVER use that one….  The LAWYERS I mean NOT the Priests,… THEY seem to use that one quite a bit more than is APPROPRIATE apparently….  I’m just repeating what I read in the papers up here folks…

And EVERY lawyer I’ve ever know personally smokes dope….  Yet these are the same ilk,  that when they decide they’ve suckled off the teat of private industry long enough and want to belly up to the publicly funded trough, these same ASSHOLES vote for every drug law that rolls across their desk….  They get all self righteous on the rest of us while they pay for hookers out of their staffers checking accounts….  Where’s the IRS when it comes to auditing little ‘Billy Bob’ from Senator Graham’s office and why all of a sudden he’s been spending $50,000 per month on internet porn and dating services?!?!?!….

No 22 year old kid can spend that much on hookers folks!!!….  It took Charlie Sheen years and years to work up to that level….  And now you think it’s reasonable for some kid fresh from Dog Patch to be performing at this same standard?!?!?!   I THINK NOT!

I’m sorry I guess I just ask too many questions sometimes….  My head just works that way….  Maybe that’s why I’m up here babbling this stuff in front of you and not a lawyer.

I’ve never done Crack.

I’ve never done crack….  I may have known a couple people in passing who were doing it or have said they had tried it….  but we never really formed any BONDS or anything so I don’t know how their stories came out….  Maybe that’s the sign of a real Crackhead for all I know, do they keep in touch????….  I mean if they don’t want money or anything….

Maybe that’s part of the reason I think those characters Damon Wayans and other people do, of a real FUNNY crackhead, make me laugh…..  Cause that probably wouldn’t be so funny if my Dad or Mom were like that….  It’s ok to laugh at them when their FUNNY and ADDICTED, just not when their DEPRESSING addicted…  Right?