7 Billion and Counting But Gay Marriage Threatens the Species…

There are now 7 billion people on this planet, yet even with those odds I can’t find a undocumented maid that won’t drink my liquor.

I mean come on 7 billion people… More alien abductions & sightings than any time in our recorded history…. I’d advise you all to stock up on ammo we’re ripe for the harvest….  That’s why we’re getting plumper as a species,.. like cattle going to market.

If it weren’t for Catholicism’s ‘out breed em all’ policy there wouldn’t be 7 billion people & Puss in Boots wouldn’t have been # 1 in the box office the week it premiered.

My problem with Catholic people isn’t that I think I’m smarter than them, I know I am…  The problem is they breed & put helmets on their children.

There are 7 billion people on this planet but if your gay in America they don’t want you to get married because it ‘threatens the species’…  Really?

If your gay you can’t get married because it threatens the ‘sanctity’ of marriage,..  but Thank god Kim Kardashian was able to get married AND have her divorce within 72 days so the current season didn’t have to end with a cliff hanger…

Kim Kardashian’s marriage really recalls those great Hollywood relationships of old doesn’t it?… I mean who’s not thinking Hepburn & Tracy right now, so romantic!!…

Titanic was longer, both the film & the actual sinking of the ship…  Which was, unlike her marriage breaking up, an actual, verifiable, real and tragic event.

Cheaters and the cheating cheaters that let them cheat…

Obama’s choices have revealed his genius, Hillary makes perfect sense now. Who better to help us get over Pakistan cheating on us all along.

The President knew Osama was in Pakistan all the way back in 2006. He’s been around, he knows when a brothers cheating.

Pakistan needs to be careful, we have a female Sec. of State. If they push her too far she’ll drive all the way over there in a diaper for retribution.

I’ve gotta admit it would be fun seeing Hillary try to take down Pakistan with a roofie in the airport parking garage like Dexter though.

Filed for the next time we kill Osama…

So apparently Osama Bin Laden was shot, but he was dead to me 10 years ago.

Hmm, US Navy Seals kill Osama & my daughters Kindle ships… Coincidence?

Hey has anyone heard from @OsamaBinLaden this evening? His twitter feed has been quiet since this afternoon.

If Osama had been killed during a GOP Administration his corpse would already be @ a taxidermist being prepped for the 2012 campaign.

So Osama is dead! That means gas prices start to drop & we get all our civil rights back tomorrow morning right?

Just out of curiosity, exactly which unwarranted wire tap in the continental US led to Osama’s hiding place in Pakistan?

The fact that Osama was killed within 2 miles of a Radio Shack really says a lot about their liberal return policy.

Right now, 72 Dungeon Masters are beating the shit out of Osama Bin Laden in Jannah (Muslim Heaven).

My favorite part about the Osama death coverage in the US is that the Girls Gone Wild crew is also filming in the same crowds.

Osama has been buried at sea because the US Govt is hoping more Muslims will make the pilgrimage down 2 nautical miles voluntarily.

Osama’s family is despondent this morning over their decision to try & get him help by inviting the show Hoarders to the compound.

The Gov’t won’t tell you what technology Obama was using to track the Osama Bin Laden mission, but I can tell you there’s an app for that.

Cheney is claiming the Osama death coverage is all a lie, says he shot Osama in the face on a hunting trip back in ’06.

Filed for the next environmental disaster…

What does a comic do with all their old Oil Spill jokes?

Well you type them up and file them away for the next time a scum bag billionaire & his company try and destroy ocean or any other large body of water.   To follow are 26 jokes I wrote regarding the BP Oil Spill, they are in the order written so there is not really a developed bit here it’s just the jokes:

1-BP has decided to let the oil leak flow until next Earth Day when they will shut it down as part of their new “Green Initiative”…

2-British Citizens are angry with American’s for ruining their pensions, which is ok with us, personally I’m still pretty resentful about Hugh Grant & Amy Winehouse still having a career…

3- James Cameron & Kevin Costner both claim to have the solutions to resolving & cleaning up the Oil Spill, which is nice but where were they when McCain picked Sarah Palin as a running mate?…

4-Al Gore recently stated that scientist feel Sarah Palins Oil Spill “Tweets” are further proof of the hole in the ozone layer,… in her head,… if fluid levels continue to rise on her brain we may have to evacuate the coastal cities soon…

5-BP spin Dr’s are saying this years active hurricane season is good news, look forward to more rainbows in the southeast than in previous years & BONUS, lighter fluid will no longer be required for beach BBQ’s…

6-Surfers around the Gulf Coast are mourning the fact that, possibly for years, they won’t be able to pretend they actually surf…

7-The fact that BP is injecting all this dispersant right into the oil when we don’t know what it’s long term effect will be is also worrisome, maybe we could just pre-coat all the marine life with it to quickly pass the testing phase & save a few critters at the same time…

8-Beach Blanket Bingo would be a much darker film if the made it in Florida today,…  Not because of the oil spill but because Annette Funicello would just lie there in it like a dying seal…

9-Divers in the Florida Keys are all looking towards what the oil spill will do when it reaches the reef,… they’re too colorful & full of diverse life as they are & many divers miss that paved parking lot look while submerged…

10-The Miami Dolphins are considering moving their team,.. apparently since the oil spill there isn’t enough oxygen in the water even in Miami,…  seriously, the Kardashians beached themselves last week…

11-The Tampa Bay Buccaneers & the NFL are looking forward to a themed promotion with BP this season, they’ll be setting the Bay on fire just like pirates did back in the ‘good old days’…

12-Is it just me or does seeing all these oil soaked & coated animals pulled from the Gulf of Mexico make any of you want Long John Silvers too?… I haven’t wanted it in years, but an oily piece of cod would go down like a Lincoln Log (sprinkle covered turd, poppy farm in Istanbul) right about now…

13-I’m starting to get sick of picking on BP though, are any of you feeling like we’re becoming the mean girls in the shower throwing tampons at Carrie yelling “Plug it up, Plug it up!”,…  Obama is like the Coach holding everyone back saying, “Be nice now you girls”,… Cheney & Halliburton are the uber religious Mommy locking BP up in the closet & making it pray all the time…

14-The Gulf Coast Board of Tourism is telling visitors they can look forward to at least 4 more colors in their sunsets this year…

15-The State of Florida is working with corporate sponsors to try & contain the oil spill, they will be airlifting 50 million pounds of Gas-X & dropping it into the Gulf… because it stops gas before it starts…

16-Perhaps instead of a dispersant BP should start putting in some kind of solidifying agent,… Then we could just pull all that oil off the Gulf like a giant pudding skin…

17-Tourism in Nebraska & Kansas is expected to be up this year,… they haven’t had a corn oil spill or a deep well soy bean drilling accident in that area for years…

18-I’ll bet if there was some damned kid from Texas stuck in that blown oil well in the Gulf we’d have a lot better TV coverage…

19-One of the signs that New Orleans never recovered from Katrina is that when the oil spill started there weren’t enough hookers left in the area to blow the well & contain the damage…

20-Maybe it’s time the government & BP called in Long John Silver to consult on the oil spill clean up…  Have you ever been behind one of those restaurants?…  Now there’s an environmental disaster… as well as a serous slip & fall lawsuit waiting to happen…

21-I think BP may be waiting for Superman to fly over & blow all the oil back into the well like he did in Superman III: The Search for a Script…

22-There may finally be a scientific explanation for some of Sarah Palins stupider comments from the campaign trail,… I mean other than inbreeding,… Since the oil spill in the Gulf, people all along the coast have been saying they can see Russia from there…

23-BP was saying that tar balls washing ashore in the Gulf is “normal”,… their absolutely right…  & they’ve been “normal” in the Gulf ever since the same company had an oil rig blow & do the same thing & leak for 8 months into the Gulf of Mexico back in the 70’s,…  Just like with Clinton you have to define what “normal ” is correctly to understand… Just like anal sex is “normal” since the video explosion of the 80’s…

24-I’m not too worried for the oil spill clean up workers health, residents of Alaska did the same jobs after the Exxon Valdez & they had normal lives after…  sure there were a few flipper babies & they elected Sarah Palin as Governor,.. But it’s getting better, you can see Alaskan optimism in their new state motto: “She Resigned!”…

25-Since the oil spill BP has aquired the rights to some of the Disney characters for their upcoming clean up advertising campaign,.. We should be seeing those Tar Babies from ‘Songs of the South’ on TV again soon,.. Yeah I’m beginning to think  BP may not really “get us” as a nation…

26-I look at the CEO of BP on TV & I just really wonder, “Do you think it hurt when his soul was removed rectally?”… I hope it involved some really big tool with lots of spikes,… like one of those knives the bad guys used in ‘Cobra’…

Flailing about miserably in the land of hipsters…

OK, so August was a total wash out that did not go as planned.   But we shall get back on track.

Sad to say (for you not them) that my family comes first and I’ve had issues over the past month and a half which prevented me from attaining my goal of getting out 5 nights a week by the end of August.  I kind of set that bar high anyway, but I’ll keep working for it till I get to it.

Twitter has kind of become a new home for me to post short ideas as they come into my head, so be sure to follow me there or keep your eye on the stuff to your right over there ——->

I’m going to also be trying something new with my Twitter.  I’ll be having regular joke topics defined by the hashtag (#).  The 3 I currently have are #FailedFranchiseIdeas, #ProofYourAloneInTheUniverse & #JennyCraigsLostWeekends.  Each will be for a different day of the week, so I’ll be working on coming up with 2 more I like for the other 2 days, Monday thru Friday.

I’m also going to be posting back here at least once per week with new stuff I’m writing again.  I don’t see any point in not posting for the people who actually DO read my stuff, considering that’s all I’m able to provide at this point.

Also I do have an Improv show scheduled for Saturday Oct. 9th at The Spindrift Theater in Pacifica, CA. 8pm with Asylum.

Last if your in the area you may see me trolling around the Golden Gate Park for the San Francisco Comedy Day.  Be sure to check it out they have a bunch of great comics including Will Durst.   The shows start Sunday Sept. 19th 2010 at 12pm to 5pm.

Big Spot Dot Com…

Has anyone seen the BigSpot.Com commercials?…  With the guy that has the neck basket?…

Somewhere out there in America is a really pissed off inventor,…  He thought he was going to change the world with the neck basket,…    then along comes Big Spot Dot Com to destroy his dreams of a world where Flava Flav still has fashion pull…

That is a company with a really bold group of Executives though,…   Big Spot Dot Com, I mean what other company has the balls to make everyone that hears it’s name think of a big menses spot on the mattress that is the internet?…

Quick Sketch Idea…

An Executive Assistant with ‘do not disturb orders’ holds off a Zombie horde as his boss is oblivious and continually interrupting defensive efforts with personal requests.

Writing & Working out a set…

Over the next few weeks I’m working on memorizing a new set (5-7 minutes) to start doing at the open mics starting in the beginning of August here in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Most of my stuff I think of on the fly will still be going up to twitter so you can see some jokes there and I will probably just repost the thoughts here as well until I start to work out the rest of the bit.

But I’m not going to be posting what I consider to be a finished ‘starting bit’ (that being a beginning of a bit that is not entirely developed like maybe about a 30 second to 1 minute joke which can eventually grow to a 5 or 10 minute bit if it seems popular and you keep adding to it). Those ‘starting bits’ are basically the type of the stuff I’ve posted here over the years.

None of them are the same anymore, so whatever I’m working on (I’m not telling) is not the same as what was written here. It’s gotten better!

I’m pretty satisfied with the way my writing has progressed over the last two years, when I look back it’s easy for me to see the changes and progression from being too ‘wordy’ (a lesson learned by doing an open mic and working the joke on stage) to better use of imagery and language. I also learned a major lesson one night in that I will NEVER AGAIN count on a club providing a needed prop for a joke (I was counting on a working Mic stand, silly me, as part of a joke). And at this time I’ve only been out about 16 times in the last 2 years.

So this is the point I am at in my Comedy/Writing career:
–Building what I feel will be my first decently written and original 5-7 minute set.
–Beginning to work that material on stage more frequently, people at my house laugh at my stuff but they don’t want to sit through the show 5 nights a week. My goal is to be going out to an Open Mic five nights a week by the end of August 2010. I have places I know of for Wednesday and Thursday nights, so I need to figure out the other 3 nights that fit in best with my personal family life.
–Goal, try to get paid in actual American currency for doing my stuff before the end of 2010.

So there we go three reasonable goals for me. What’s on your list?

It’s not over till the Fat Tar Ball Floats ashore…

BP seems to think they have the Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico contained and under control…  So it seems it’s all over now.

But stuff can wash ashore for years when you least expect it…   Just ask Scott Peterson…

And I’m sure as soon as he can get the dick/cock/member out of his toothless bloody mouth he will agree…

I also had a thought regarding the clean up,…  If everyone going to/visiting the Gulf Coast over the next few years picked up & mailed just 1 Tar Ball to BP corporate headquarters & a network news anchor of their choice,….   the post office might smell better,…  eventually…

Stick it to the British or The New Tea Party…

Does anyone here like Iced Coffee?…  Yeah!…  I can’t stand it!…

There are 3 things that should always be hot…   Coffee, Women & Burning Napalm Stuck to babies and children as they run down the street…   At least that’s what they used to make us sing in the Army as we exercised…

I can’t stand Iced Coffee yet I love Iced Tea,…  But I’ve always enjoyed sticking it to the British, not just when they were destroying the Gulf of Mexico…

BP seems to have repaired their ‘little inconvenience’ but honestly I think they had help we’re not hearing about,…   They cut off and capped the tip, this sounds like the work of a Moyel!…

I mean sure it appears they’ve stopped the leak but really it’s the ‘gift that keeps on giving’…  MMMM, wait till you smell the Gulf Coast come late August!…

There’s nothing like the smell of rotting flesh and carcasses washing ashore to really let you know that Autumn is just around the corner,…   Maybe the Gulf states can advertise it likes trips to Vermont in October…  “Missing the smell of week old tuna cans in the trash?  Well come to Florida!  Discounted Sushi all winter long for the 2010-11 season!”

Anti-gun Lobbyist Ammunition…

Statistically speaking, if you’re going to be shot, you’re going to be shot by someone you know…

Personally speaking, if I’m going to be shot, I’d prefer an to be shot by an expert…

I figure there are fewer ‘issues’ that way…

The problem is, I’m the only expert marksman I know personally, and I don’t believe in using guns for suicide…

Why give the anti-gun lobbies any more ammunition…

Kickboxing for Koalas…

If someone with vision were to take the initiative and just teach Kickboxing to Koalas they wouldn’t be on the brink of extinction…

There are so few people with vision left, they need your support…

Many people think that it’s safe to say the Koalas don’t understand why their numbers are dwindling,  so what good would it do to teach them Kickboxing anyway?…

But they know! Why do you think they’re such compulsive over eaters?  They’re eating their worry/pain/angst!…

Plus Koalas have a shitty front kick and foot sweep so their really pretty vulnerable there,…   No really, you just have to step back and they practically fall right over…  You can just ‘tap’ them.

(thinking pain or angst are funnier)

National Incident Commander Thad Allen…

I read recently National Incident Commander Thad Allen is to take over the lead role in ‘MacGruber  2: Eclipse of the Gulf’…

National Incident Commander… Is it just me or does that Job Title sound suspiciously like a ‘Temp Job‘…     ‘Fall Guy’, whatever…  at least there’s a movie role on the horizon for that as well…  Temp workers have to keep their eye on the future…

BP had their New and Improved Well Cap all ready to go but ‘That Girl’ Thad Allen said the government stopped them temporarily, because they don’t want to create an “irreversible mistake”…  Like Off Shore Drilling or allowing another Bush to get elected.

Positive * Negative = LIES ITS ALL LIES…

If everything you see on television and read in the newspapers is true (or a positive).

And everything you see online is a lie and false (or a negative).

That means that when I see anything that was broadcast on TV or read anything that was printed in the papers online it instantly becomes false.

Because as we all learned in High School when you combine a positive and a negative it becomes a negative…

I KNEW Lindsay Lohan would never go to prison…  Lying Bastards at TMZ…

The Pirates of Penzance

I often wonder,…

If the Pirates of Penzance were alive today…

Do you think they would do pilaties?…

I do…

But then they had panache…

You Make the Call…

The day my family was having our Reunion back East,…   That’s the direction that doesn’t lead you into the Pacific Ocean…  The day of the reunion I was sitting there watching ‘Fatal Attraction’ in HD…

And this made me think, “Example of Symmetry?  OR Newton’s Third Law?”

You Make the Call…

Since my brother was there and ‘on the field’ as it were, I asked him to officiate for me…

His return text was a bit disturbing,…  his judgment call was that it was more in line with Symmetry, apparently things got pretty rough around the “buffet area”…

But in our defense we are all pretty damned good cooks…

What’s with California and the 40 oz?…

What’s with Cali and the 40 ounce?

I got no “homies” to spill half of this out for,…   that’s why in Florida I only got 16 oz cans…

But those are not available here… I need to meet and befriend more gang members so I can have someone to spill out half of my 40’s for…    eventually...

How’s this sound as an opener as I walk up, “Why Hello there my “Homie” ,…

How’s the gat, in your parlance if you’ll excuse the phrase, hangin’ holmes?”…

I think it shall go well…

A friend of mine didn’t care for this joke, because apparently all jokes are real and I mostly drink Guinness when I drink beer and they don’t actually sell 40 oz’ers…

So I told him, “You know what, your right.  I actually need to meet more Irish Gangsters,… specifically turn of the century Irish Gangsters.  Sort of a Daniel Day Lewis  ‘Bill the Butcher’ type from Gangs of New York”…

I haven’t been to New York in a couple years do they still have that?…   Guys strolling around the City with Meat Cleavers and other tools used in the industrial slaughter of animals?…

If they don’t I’m not sure how I’m going to make this joke real…

Ari Emanuel Your My Hero…

William Morris Endeavor Agency dropped Mel Gibson as a client,…

I never thought I’d say this but Ari Emanuel has more heart than Dick Cheney…

In Memoriam…

A friend of mine told me she’s going to Chicago in September on a ‘girls trip’ and asked what to do while she was there…

I told her since she was going to be there on 9/11 to be sure to see the movie  ‘Philadelphia’…

it’s so much more relevant when you see it there…

What, too soon? Let me ask, for which one Aids, 9/11 or the musical Chicago?

I really love Entourage…

If singing ‘Rape Me’ while watching Entourage, crying & masturbating is gay then I guess I’m not.

3 out of 4 ain’t bad though…

Sorry, it’s a good show and I do watch it,…    The kid that plays Turtle has really grown as an actor since he did Lord of the Rings and Rudy…

If you didn’t check him out on IMDB Wikipedia you’d never know he was that little girl from The Cosby Show…

I go Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, for you Davy…

Mel Gibson and Dave Chappelle have been spending so much time together their crazy has synced up like two girls menses…

Who knew,…  I guess Catholics and Muslims CAN work together…   I mean it’s to hate Jews, other blacks, airline pilots and in flight lavatories but it’s a start…

Be sure to look over here citizenry, there is nothing to see under the Gulf over there…  Tap your oily slippers together and you’ll be right home…

Thank you TMZ for covering the crucial issues and bringing them to the forefront of public awareness…

Writing, Research and Work Ethic…

I’ve been working on research and writing a lot recently.  I therefore apologize for my lack of posts to those that actually care about such minor issues and banality.  First I love the writing, it’s the new found paranoia of posting it that is strange, I’m a little concerned about possible pilfering due to some of my research.  Not that I’m some kind of genius, it’s just there is only so much reality for everyone trying to do this to work from but then again some people are just flat out hacks.

One of the things I’ve been doing, in addition to a LOT of reading about writing comedy, is watching and listening to some people I’ve always liked but didn’t really “hit it big” as it were.  Yet they’re still making a living (in some cases 25 to 40 years), which honestly is pretty much were I’d like to be at once I’m done with this transition.  So if you like comedy here are a few comics with some really brilliant Podcasts that can be gotten from multiple sources. I use iTunes, but I’m going to link directly to the artists site, so you can get it how you want it from there.

Marc Maron: He’s got the WTF Podcast and it is just a great resource so listen, a couple comics (from all levels of the industry) talk about comedy on pretty much every level (business to artistic).  His interview with Carlos Mencia is probably one of the most stunning things I’ve ever heard.  And for Mencia to not even realize he’s admitting he’s a hack is mind boggling.  He flat out says his first experience he went out and got a joke book and then did them on stage.  How can he not realize that’s what makes him a hack?  My first experience I wrote every thing I did, it was mostly easy jokes but it worked and made me want to get better.  I got laughs and the fact that I wrote them is what made me really get charged about this, sure they were hack jokes about drinking and the attitude is what made them work.  But it made me want to WRITE better material, all Mencia could have felt is “I have to GET more material”.  I’m sure he was charged but he had to have wondered where he was going to get his next bit from, I knew I could create more and I think that’s the difference between a real comic and a hack.

Doug Benson: Just a funny guy with a good act and I like his podcast Doug Love Movies (formerly I Love Movies) for the array of guests and the way the show is done.  It’s mostly live in a theatre (that’s how they spell it dammit!) in LA called the UCB (you know but if not google).  Tons of other comedians and it’s mostly an improv movie themed show so it’s just a fun listen.

David Feldman: This guy is a writer/performer who’s great and makes me laugh a lot.  His podcast is mostly interviews and comedy sketches which is great.  You don’t get many audio comedy sketches outside of Harry Shearer radio shows and his can get a little dry, so this is a really good show to listen to as you drive or work on dangerous machinery after drinking cough syrup.

Will Durst: Another great writer/performer.  He was on a podcast I heard of David Feldman’s but he does one himself that is available on audible.com for purchase.  He’s also got CD’s for sale on his site and has written some books which are great reads as well.  He’s been around for years and I remember seeing him back in the 80’s (when I should have started doing comedy) and along with Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison and George Carlin, he’s one of those guys I think I most admired.  But somehow he fell off the national scene, to move out here and find that he’s still active is one of the best things I’ve discovered over the past few years.  So check him out as well.

Ritch Shydner: He’s one of two comics that wrote and compiled a book called “I Killed” that is an excellent read that will make you laugh out loud.  He’s a great comic and he’s in a documentary I watched recently.

There are some great documentaries out there too.  If enough people want to know what I’ve been watching there just drop a comment and I’ll put that together in the future.

I’ve not watched much of their current comedy stuff, as I don’t want to accidentally contaminate my brain with someone I respects ideas, but I’ve been listening to podcasts, watching documentaries about comedy and reading books by comedians I respect and who’s writing I enjoy.  So one of the more pressing things I’ve gleaned from a great deal of this research is the need to be wary of hacks that steal, thereby bypassing the realm of Loserville a new online game from Zynga!

So my next step, now that I’ve started to learn to write a better actual ‘bit’ and I’m starting to like what I’m seeing.  I’m going to be concentrating on getting more actual stage time.  My first goal is to start doing an open mic at least 5 nights a week by the end of August.  That goal is central to my second goal: to get my first really tight 5 to 7 minute set.  Once that’s done then goal three is to actually start auditioning or getting some actual paying features/opening sets and build from there to a 20 minute set.

This will be the next year or so of my life…  Oh wait, I’m still also a husband and Dad of 2 kids in their early teens, one of whom has Down Syndrome…  At least karma and the daily news shall continue to provide the material!

Michael Jackson Od’ed…

Reporters annoy me…

If Michael Jackson ODing is a TRAGEDY, what do I call the junkie who pukes all over the baked goods at Safeway?…  Sublime?…

I mean who really cares that it’s been 1 year since Michael Jackson “tragically’ OD’ed?…  Personally I consider any day a pedophile junkie OD’s to be a pretty GOOD day…

I mean I’m not going to commemorate it every year but I’m not going to mourn it a year later either…  Maybe that’s what makes me a good Dad, I don’t rape my kids or their friends and I rarely OD around the house…

The Stand Up Comics Creed…

THIS IS MY TONGUE…

THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!!!

I must master it as I must master my timing.

Without me, my tongue is useless.

Without my tongue, I am useless, and kind of gross.

I must undulate my tongue true….

I must prattle on straighter than the enemy (heckler) who is trying to blather at me.

I must talk OVER HIM before he interrupts me.

I will.

Lifetime TV, you say one thing but do another, it’s your fault I hit you…

I’m kind of an anal retentive OCD afflicted…  well, asshole…  But that’s not the point…

I just strive to do everything I do right and I expect all of you to do the same dammit!…

But my point is I hate when your watching TV and the schedule is wrong, you know the one on the TV…

I was looking the other day and I see on Lifetime… Fuck You, it’s research…

So it say’s ‘Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolitta Story’ with Alyssa Milano so that’s hot right?

And since we’re about the same age it’s not “icky”…

Hit the switch to go on over there and what’s on?… ‘The Mary Kay Literno Story’ w/Penelope Ann Miller…

Yeah, absolutely the wrong kind of child molestation for me…

You can’t do that, I mean I’m not a molester but there are molesters out there trying to not molest…

They are counting on you to be accurate Lifetime so they don’t rape children…

You can’t promise them one type of child molestation and then deliver another it’s all I’m trying to get across here…